GrAttitude

So I realize that it's been months since I've written anything, oops! Honestly, nothing too exciting is happening in the Cookley household. We are both working and going to school full-time like most normal young married couples. As of late I've been practicing my baking and cooking skills, trying recipes in the crockpot and baking bread, and so far the reviews have been great aside from one meal that even I didn't like. It's crazy to think Rowdy and I have been married for about four months now, it seems like we have been married so much longer because since we started dating, we haven't spent much time apart. Considering I knew I was marrying him before we even began dating, with that mindset I guess that would be one of the reasons it feels like we have been married for nearly two years. Marriage has been.... a learning experience ha. The Bishop in my ward always says that the Lord puts us in families to learn patience among many other things, it's God's version of a classroom. I find this analogy accurate, it is teaching Rowdy and I lots of new skills. We aren't perfect and there are days that are difficult and taxing, but they are for our own growth and benefit, whether we choose to see those at the time or not, which leads me into the purpose of this post, GrAttitude.

Yesterday at church in Relief Society we had a lesson on "gratitude" but they extended it to "GrAttitude". We talked about how gratitude is an attitude, one that you have to choose to posses even in times of trial and defeat. I truly felt that this lesson was meant for me because how often is it that when we(me) are having a bad day or are frustrated and continue to mope and find more things to gripe about. Rather, we(me) can choose to accept that yes, something(s) went wrong but there are so many other things that have gone and are continuing to go right but we(me) choose to focus solely on the negative. Often, negativity is self perpetuating and rarely provides an answer or solution to the issue at hand. There may not always be an immediate answer or solution but there is never a shortage of things to be grateful for, it could ALWAYS be worse.

Something that struck me as so profound was that it's not our job to RECEIVE blessings, it's our job to CHERISH them. One of the things they suggested someone could do to remind themselves of all the things they are blessed with is to keep a gratitude journal. To some, this may sound cheesy but not to me!!!! I'm a writer, I love it, and it's often a way for me to vent rather than write down all my happy thoughts. So, I've decided i'm going to keep a gratitude journal so that when I'm having a bad day I can look back at all the Lord has blessed me with and write down something new that I am grateful for even in my time of struggle and frustration. It's just as the hymn says, "Count your many blessings name them one by one."

         "Mercies and blessings come in different forms—sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things." All things means just that: good things, difficult things—not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love."


President Thomas S. Monson said, "We can lift ourselves and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues."

This lesson has changed my thinking in a lot of ways. I've decided to try and serve others more, take someone a loaf of bread when they are sad or sick, watch a mothers children so that she and her husband can have some time together or go to the temple. Service is the pure love of Christ, that is a feeling that I wish to feel as often as possible and share with others. Applying that same service and attitude in my own home when Rowdy and I are both having a bad day or maybe aren't getting along as well as we would like, can help soften my own heart and hopefully in turn, show him how much I do love him, even during the squabbles. I can't choose for him to feel this way, or adopt this attitude, but I can choose this for myself and bring the Spirit into our home.

Married Life

                                                   Bird on a Wire Photography

Well its been about two and a half weeks since Rowdy and I tied the knot. Don't worry, professional pictures will be posted once we get to see them ourselves! But here's a sneak peak at what's to come =D

The day was beautiful, seriously, could not have asked for any better. No rain and it wasn't scorching hot either. We had a few hiccups, but of course what wedding day goes by with no memorable bump? Anywho, lot's of people came to share the day with us, the cake was wonderful, so was the food (Kuddos to my mother who catered it, expecting 460 people!) our bridal party looked smashing and the little ones were absolutely DARLING and performed better than I ever expected from 5 little ones, ranging in ages of 2-6, wow. So many people worked extremely hard to make this day run smoothly. My bridesmaids saved the day, bringing my Bolero that I forgot at home, to the temple JUST in time. The Lloyd's worked magic with the sound system and communicating with the Morin's and keeping my sanity on days leading up to the wedding that I thought I would lose it completely. The Morin's for letting us use their beautiful home and property and all the hard work they and their family put into it. Our families (not enough words to describe our gratitude), my aunt Dianne and everyone who helped her with the flowers, gorgeous!!! My bridesmaids were SO helpful, the sacrifices people made to come and to make the day happen, like my parents and the financial support for the wedding as well as emotional, Levi for flying in from Oki, Japan to see me get married, Rowdy's sister Danielle and her family from S.C., Nick coming from AZ and everyone else who took the time and money to come make this day so incredibly special for Rowdy and I.

After our wedding brunch the following day, we went on a little pre-honeymoon honeymoon to Whidby Island (thanks to Reed and LaFawn Smith) and it was great, very relaxing and beautiful scenery, I want to go back! Then we spent a couple nights at Mossyrock with the boating crew and by Saturday, we were ready to head to our own home and sleep in our own bed.

Married life doesn't seem to be too different than the dating life Rowdy and I had, we just have a few extra bonuses (and I'm still trying to figure out how to sign "coakley" instead of Jasperson in a way that I like the look of it). But prior to marriage, we had a joint account and a credit card and spent every waking moment together aside from work and sleeping, so to be honest, we knew what we were getting into for the most part. I will say, it is a bit more challenging living with someone simply because there is no escape like "im going to my house" or anything of the sort, "me time" doesn't really exist anymore either, but luckily, we enjoy each others company most of the time. Marriage has challenges, i'm sure that is no surprise to anyone who's been married for any length of time, and for someone as independent as myself, there are moments where it is extra challenging. In marriage, you are not allowed to be selfish or make decisions regarding money etc. on your own, but rather, you have to consult about every "want" vs. "need" or "large" purchase, or if you are going to raid  your moms pantry for food or grow up and buy your own (yes, this is a debate in our household but I will keep the participants roles anonymous, for their reputations sake :) or who takes the covers in the middle of the night and how clothes are folded or how we grocery shop and who has what shelves and hanging space in the walk-in closet. Oh the little joys and qualms of MARRIAGE.

However great or upsetting the day may be, I will love my husband forever. And I know that no matter how crazy I may drive him, my husband will love his wife, forever.

Down to the Wire

So this will probably be my last update before the big day, which, by the way, is in just 6 days! Things are probably as crazy as they can get. Tomorrow we start moving all of our stuff into our new house, and I am so excited. I painted a wall in our room red yesterday. Levi is home now! He came in Thursday morning and I got to go pick him up, it has been nice to have my twin home. The past couple weeks and the two weeks to follow will probably be the busiest I'll ever be in my entire life. We have family coming in this week, we are decorating the reception site, I have nail, massage, hair, makeup and a bunch of other appointments, we have our wedding dinner, moving, last minute wedding stuff, wedding brunch, Mossyrock, Wigby Island, Wild Waves, packing and unpacking, seeing and visiting people, fittings all mixed in with the rest of the craziness. My poor mother, she wants to cater my wedding so she will be cooking like a mad woman starting Thursday, so no one be surprised if she goes missing for a few days. Everyone keeps asking if I'm ready and excited. I am, I'm SO ready for all the stress to be over and I can enjoy the day I've worked so hard at planning along with a few other amazing people that have helped make my life a little less chaotic. I'm ready to just wake up and realize "Today, I am getting married!" and go to the temple and be sealed to Rowdy and then get into my pretty dress and see everyone and dance and have a fabulous evening. I am also excited because Rowdy says he has a surprise for me but I won't get it until our wedding day, so I am curious as to what it will be =)

Married and Family Life

So I've decided to jump into family/married life a couple weeks early to prepare myself a bit, and by that I mean budgeting and couponing, Rowdy will be so proud. Many know that Rowdy is shall we say, frugal, but that is putting it lightly. In fact, all Coakley's are like this and since I am a soon-to-be Coakley (thats only the second time I've ever referred to myself as a Coakley, odd) I am trying to teach myself the tricks of the trade. I'm not a mad spender (contrary to what my fiance thinks) but I don't have a lot of bills to pay so I will admit, I spend my money if I have some left over AFTER all bills, tithing and savings are paid and put away for. But I've decided to humor him and the sanity of our marriage and dove right in. I've watched EVERY tutorial on Money Saving Mom, btw LOVE her advice. I've been doing a ton of research and starting to come up with strategies so that I can help alleviate some of the typical stress that comes with being married, especially within the first year. I'm on a bit of a high right now, I hope it lasts and becomes a mind set. I'm also going to try and start adopting the "early to bed early to rise" concept of living. I'm like my mom, I am I night owl usually, but I have found that since I have children half the month, I like to be in bed by ten so that I can be up and ready to start my day when they are (luckily for me, I know my kids well enough that I have been able to train them to stay in their rooms until 8am during the summer, YAY). However, my goal is to be READY to go for the day by the time they can come out of their rooms rather than be rolling out of bed, hair a mess etc. I have found that it is much easier  to plan your day early that way it can run smoothly and you can do whatever you want once you have a plan. I'm trying to be more like my old self, organized. I used to be so great at it, but that's slowly slipped in the past few years, so I am trying to get back into it. For those of you who read and have tips and websites about any of the above topics, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send them my way =D I will need all the help and advice I can get, including how to score a cheap/free Sunday paper for their ads!

Just a Kiss Goodnight

OH-MY-GOODNESS!!!!!! We are a month away, I cannot believe it, can you?! Of course not, a 9 month engagement seemed like PLENTY of time to get ready for this big day, in fact, I thought it to be an eternity, and WHAM! It's practically here! I have two finals this week and then the end of my never ending school year will arrive =D then I can concentrate on only two things, the twins and wedding, well I guess that's technically three isn't it...

Anywho, RSVP's are rolling in daily a few at a time, flower girl dresses are ordered, shoes are ordered, ties are being ordered, favors are ordered, my dress is being altered as we speak. I've been working out a lot with my friend Michael, who is a stud, which is helping to motivate me into pushing myself to my max and i've been doing Zumba, which I love. My body's getting firmer, my tummy is getting flatter but those lb's only fluctuate by a few, sadly, but I guess if I look good, the number shouldn't matter, right?

I'm looking forward to family coming into town that I haven't seen in a while, especially my brother who is stationed over in Okinowa, Japan. Can't wait to dance with him at my wedding to a song he picked out just for us =) Speaking of songs, Rowdy and I finally picked ours out and I'm THRILLED!!!! And I'm making our guest book and I have to say, I'm quite impressed, it looks fantastic!

Tuxes are being fitted, mom found her dress, and we are still acquiring things for the house, which we move into on the 5th of July!!! Yes, the week of our wedding is going to make our heads spin, every single day is jam packed with some activity, be it moving, rehearsal, setting up, family flying in, decorations, bachelorette party, or my actual wedding, it's just nuts, but I'm enjoying the busyness. The week after is also crazy busy. Rowdy was planning on surprising me and taking me up for a pre-honeymoon trip to Wigby Island, but someone spilt the beans on that one so I now know about it, but it's sweet that he worked so hard to do that for us. So we will be at Wigby island Mon-Thurs morning, then we are driving down to Wild Waves and meeting his family and some friends for the day. Thursday night we will be driving down to Mossy rock where my family and friends will be and will be boating and camping there for a couple days. Whew, that's a lot to do in two weeks! Then we will be going home to our own bed, in our own house, *sigh, I can't wait. Instead of just kissing Rowdy goodnight and one of us having to go on our merry way back home, we will get to kiss goodnight, and still roll over and see each other whenever we want, ha!

I'm such a nerd, I love being able to light candles and cook in my own kitchen, i'm actually looking forward to cleaning my house, weird right? OH! We just bought a brand new LG washer, and I'm so excited to use it, and mind you, I have very ill feelings towards folding laundry however, I look forward to the first few loads of laundry and a very low electric bill because of it =)

**Funny story**
I have a cousin who is named after me, she is four. I don't know where the time went, it seems like yesterday that they were a month old and falling asleep on my chest for the night. Anyways, Rowdy and I went over to their house the other night and Taylor and her sister Baylie are 4 and 5 and absolutely love Rowdy. They were playing with him all night long, which Im sure Justin and Noelle appreciated because he wore them out. So Taylor walks up  to me, hands on her hips and says, "You are taking Rowdy from me! Are you cheating on him with another boy? Are you cheating on me with him!" it was rolling on the floor laughing with tears, she was dead serious!


On a more serious note, I feel so blessed to be where I am today! I have great friends and family. I'm so glad I get to share this *epic* moment in my life with so many people! I'm excited for the road unknown ahead of me, for kids, for Rowdy and I to be graduated (oh am I excited for that! but he's got a long road ahead with law school). I'm excited to be able to go over to grandma and grandpa's and also have Rowdy all to myself, forever, Sorry babe but you're stuck with me after July 9th. We have come a long way as a couple. We've been together for nearly 18 months, but been friends for 15 years. Though we still bicker (yes this wedding has brought out the worst in us at times) like any normal couple, we have learned to compromise better and let things go (a huge feat for me, because I am such a perfectionist). I've noticed that when we put God ahead of ourselves in our relationship things go a LOT smoother, it's that whole "Not my will but thy will be done" thing that we both struggle with because we like our way lol. I look forward to so many things occurring on this road I will be driving on with Rowdy. We are copilots to each others lives, now, if only we can agree on who gets to drive first...

Craziness

So we have exactly two months left until my wedding, which is such a crazy thought in its self. Then we have a little under two months before we get everything moved into the house we will be renting and one month left until school is out and my second bridal shower. Although this is the most exciting time of my life, it is also the absolute most stressful and crazy time, ever. However, I am so grateful for those who have been so unconditionally supportive and helpful. I am truly blessed to have the friends and family that I do. They support me and sacrifice their time and energy to make things happen and go as smoothly as possible. They have been there for me through thick and thin and nothing has ever changed our bond, not distance, not change, not difference in opinions/religion/lifestyles etc. Even though I am one of the first of a lot of my friends to get married, many have made the most important time of my life thus far so enjoyable and exciting and I am glad I get to share this with them.

I have a "To Do" list that is a mile long and somehow I have managed to stay sane, although I'm sure Rowdy and my mom can attest, my sanity is slowly slipping away. I hope these next couple months just fly by with ease, and that school and work do so as well so that I can relax on occasion and enjoy the excitement!

Nightmares

So in the last month I've had a few wedding nightmares. The latest, which was last night's nightmare, was that it was my wedding day, we had no food, no decorations, no one assigned to do anything, my dress was not altered and I was at Linfield for some reason in the hot sun and no fiance to be found. To some this may sound funny, but to anyone who is getting married or is already married they know this is a complete nightmare. Things are getting close, 2.5 months away and it seems to all be flying at me. There is so much to do and I feel like I have no time to sit down and do anything with school and the twins. It's just craziness. I am looking forward to my bridal showers in May and June (one for college friends, one for church friends and family) and school getting out the beginning of June. Then I will have about a month off from work with the wedding and vacation to do last minute wedding business, spend time with family, relax and experience being married =D I look forward to all of this with much enthusiasm.

Tres Manos

So we have just under three months left before the BIG day. My dress came in, finally! So now I need to get it altered. Engagement pics were taken and invites will be sent out in the next couple of weeks, oh boy! We have our chairs and tables all ordered, my cousin is planning the bridal shower for my college friends and Rowdy is figuring out what he wants his men to wear. Still tackling the menu and figuring out the music, if anyone has suggestions for garter or bouquet toss music, dancing and dinner music feel free to message it my way! As far as living, we will more than likely be renting a house in Aloha, which I am ELATED about! And Rowdy is still trying to pick his ring. I think it's pretty traditional to have a passion party before your wedding, so of course I had one and it was SO much fun. I'm getting more and more excited every day, go figure. I can't wait to come home (my and Rowdy's home) and light a candle, curl up on my couch or in my big bed or for Rowdy and I to learn to cook together, I can cook and so can he, but we've never actually cooked together before, strange concept considering we have our own mini family with the twins half the time. I'm excited to paint and hang pictures and use our amazingly soft towels we registered for at Bed Bath and Beyond amongst the many other things we've registered for. I'm excited to say "My eggo is Prego!" (credit to my friend, Amanda Gates) and have my own little ones running around. Though I am no fool, I know that marriage is not easy and it's an eternal commitment but I am excited to take on the challenges that come with spending the rest of your life with someone as well as embracing the happy, amazing moments.

You Make Me Wanna Say "I Do"

So we've got about 3 months and 3 weeks left, but who's counting ; ) Stuff is starting to happen and time suddenly seems to be FLYING. We've got dresses ordered, Tux's picked out, cakes are paid for, bridal shower planning among lots and lots of other things. The next big item on the list to tackle is the menu.... oh dear. I'm not gonna lie, I'm getting nervous for the big day. I keep having these strange, almost nightmarish dreams about our wedding and it's suddenly dawning on me that this is it, the day every little girl dreams about, wow. Then I realize that after the wedding, it gets down to the nitty gritty, you know, the real stuff, marriage. The well known "toughest year of your marriage is the first", joint accounts, bills, jobs, a house, school.... yikes! I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared, because I am. Rowdy and I aren't perfect, and anyone who is close to us knows this all too well. We fight, we have our shining moments of immaturity and selfishness, and sometimes he makes me crazy, as I'm sure I do the same to him. However, I find myself at the end of every night thanking God that he is in my life, no matter how mad I can get with him. We have been through more than anyone realizes and we haven't given up. Something I really admire about Rowdy is his ability to forgive. I've done some things I could never be proud of, and he has always forgiven me, that is love. He cares more about making us work than something stupid I've done. Luckily, I have been blessed to have some of my father's qualities, one of  which is that I can't stay mad, ever. So I'm thinkin' those things will be really useful in our marriage when we are both spent. We have grown up together since I was six years old and we still have so much to learn, but instead of learning on our own, we get the opportunity to learn together, should be interesting =)

We Be Honeymoonin'

So Rowdy and I have been wrestling over what to do for a honeymoon, and because we are a young couple and don't have a million dollar budget, we had to do our research. Thanks to Julie Reid at Blue Window World Travel (travel agent), we were able to get an all inclusive honeymoon to Jamaica!!!! She was AMAZING, checked out a million different ideas we had (or so it seemed) and found something in our budget. She was so great, very timely and informative with everything!!! Rowdy and I decided to go in September because it wasn't "peak" season so prices were more in our range, looks like I'll be turning 22 in a warm, tropical place =) Sounds like an amazing birthday present to me! This is where we are going to be staying: http://www.breezes.com/resorts/breezes-trelawny/ and I cannot wait to go have some fun in the sun!

Long Time Coming.. South Carolina Christmas

So here are the pictures from our South Carolina Trip for Christmas. They are in no particular order but there are some fun ones, some cute ones and some not so cute ones...of me of course. Photos courtesy of my mother in law, Lacey and Danielle.

It was absolutely FREEZING that day.

Boys loved their present from Aunt Lacey

Me and Brety

BumbleBee!!!

Anxiously waiting to go downstairs and see what Santa brought

Cole was trying to see what was in the presents... well before Christmas day

Dance party Christmas Eve in their new jammies from Grammy and Papi

*blooper 1

Gone with the Wind

*Blooper 2

Making popcorn with Grammy

day after thanksgiving with Grandma Iris (rowdys) we both have a gma Iris.

An intense game of Twister at the Coakley house. We get down and we get dirty when we play...it's to the death!

First and only time this has happened. I never last this long, i'm usually too small and not strong enough for the rest of the group. I usually get dominated. BUT Tash and i TIED!

My sister-in-laws, Danielle (L) and Lacey (R)

Writing and sending letters to Santa via Fire and smoke!

Pinata!

"mock birthdays" for all the fall/winter bdays in our family that we couldn't celebrate together because they moved back to S.C. This is Bret and he was super excited about the candle.

Ryan, Cole and Grammy's turn

Now Jakes

Rocking chairs outside a restaurant. They are everywhere in S.C. even at the airport

I was terrified to be up there because the upper left bar was not bolted in at all and we were up super high!

Santa's sweets and Reindeer treats

Bedtime for Coley

Bret, Nick and Rowdy sound asleep on the way to the beach

Christmas Morning!